As I began to write this blog post, I stumbled on the title. My first thought was “Conquer Being Single.” I did not like how the title appeared to reflect that being single was such a negative thing that it needed to be conquered. My second thought was, “Conquer Being Alone.” Now, that would suggest that I or the reader was alone and did not have anyone. Which brought me to the title above, “Conquer Feeling Alone.”
Now I am the first to admit that I downplay my feelings. If someone hurts my feelings, I will claim that I am fine and that they did not really hurt them. I have to stop that. Which means, I also have to admit that sometimes I feel alone. Yes, I am happily single. Yes, I have great friends and family who I love to spend time with. Yes, I still at times feel alone.
On this journey of “Becoming a Happy Single” (check out my vlog series), I have noticed that I have moments when I feel alone. I feel like I am in a boat by myself and everyone has journeyed away from me. This is mostly due to things that are happening around me (friends getting married, starting careers in other states, etc.). I usually struggle with feeing alone if I feel that I am being stagnant and not moving. Feeling alone is more so a “mental” roadblock than anything else. So, I have come up with some ways that have aided me to “feel” less alone when I am “physically” alone and I would love to share them with you.
- Spending Time with God
There are times when I truly love speaking to God. Like, I talk to Him like He is my homeboy. I meditate on His Word and ask for direction and healing. God fills me up the way no human can. My time with Him is precious and I enjoy seeking Him; especially in times when I feel alone.
- Exploring My City
Usually my boredom is a correlation to my feelings of being alone. When I notice that, I decide to go on an adventure. I was born and raised in Memphis, TN and truly have not seen everything it has to offer. Sometimes I find myself trying a new restaurant or exploring Overton Square. I try to capture the moments of my explorations on video or pictures.
- Binge-Watching a Series
Now Netflix can have all my money! (Sorry Monique lol). I will literally binge watch every show I have been missing out on. This usually takes my mind off feeling alone and allows me to just relax and enjoy the day.
- A Vacation for One
I typically feel less alone when I have something exciting planned in my life like a trip. I love traveling and exploring the world outside of what I am used to. Taking yourself on vacations allows you live your best life whether someone is next to you or not.
- Busy Bee
So, that business you wanted to start this year. That book you wanted to write. Do it! I know first-hand, when I am busy making boss moves, I rarely find myself feeling alone. As a single, I am working towards establishing a life for whomever is in my future.
Overall, the point I desire to make is that your feelings are valid, but they do not need to stop you from living. You can choose to let your feelings about being alone impact you in a negative way or positive way. The choice is yours.