“Why are you single?” I am plagued with this question more often than I would truly like to admit. It is most often followed by a frown or proposal to be “hooked up” with someone the person may know. At 27-years-old, I somewhat understand why people think this is an okay question to ask someone. I mean, my mom was married in her earlier 20s and had her last child (yours truly) by 27. I typically respond to the question with an “I just haven’t found the one yet” and change the subject. However, I truly wanted to explore why I am single! So I came up with a list of reasons and I dissected them as follows:
I Am Growing My Relationship with God
As I have continued to grow closer to God, I have found myself “falling in love” for the very FIRST time. It is a very intimate relationship that I am cultivating and I truly want to give my all to him. In the past, I have put God second to a man and for that I am sorry. I was looking for love on this Earth through man and never really gave Him a try. Now that I am learning what TRUE love is, I desire to grow closer to Him and love him just as much. That is not to say that I will never date, but if the man that is interested in me does not bring me closer to God, then I do not want him.
“WYD” Texts Bore Me
This generation sucks! In an age where we are always on a social media site, I would assume that we would be more sociable. Jokes on me! I have received “wyd” texts more than once a day by the same person. First of all, baby, I have a 7:00 am to 4:00 pm job at a mental health hospital. I am working! I am also building a brand and a legacy. How about you pick up the phone, call my contact, and ask me out on a DATE. When you take these steps, then sir, you will know what I am doing. And a person that literally has so much free time on their hands and they are not doing anything with it usually cannot even hang with my lifestyle. So, get ambitious and use your time wisely.
If you know me, then you know I am divorce. I got married super young and divorced just as young. So, I have a strong grasps on what it takes to make a marriage work. I am in no rush to become one with someone. I want my next marriage to be my last, so I am willing to take the time to get to know someone. It is as simple as that.
I Am Career Focused
Lastly, I am focused on my legacy and my career. I truly want to establish myself in this world before I join someone in wedded bliss. (I say that because I am dating for a purpose. If you do not plan to get married one day, then do NOT jump in my DMs.) I believe I cannot really afford to be distracted from my goals right now. It would have to take the right man to change my mind on this. I am allowing myself to be selfish because it is the only time that I am allowed to do so. Before the I Dos, the babies, and the mortgage. I want to add to my future spouse’s life and vice versa.
Maybe you can relate to these reasons. Maybe you can’t. I am not sure why the world thinks there is something wrong with being single. I am a happy single. That does not mean that I do not get lonely some days or that I do not dream of what the Hus-Bae and I will name our children. I am just not willing to settle at this point in my life. It took me too long to get to the woman I am and I still have so far to go before I am the woman I want to be.